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Twilight author to destroy more mythical monsters
NEW YORK - Stephanie Meyer, having completely murdered the coolness of vampires and werewolves with her immensely popular Twilight series, says that she will now turn her attention to other mythological beasts which are, at the moment, very cool and interesting, and make sure that nobody ever takes them seriously again.
"It has come to my attention that there are other monsters out there that seem pretty cool," said Meyers when asked about her plans, "hopefully I can fix that"
Meyers says that she has taken special interest in the legends of Ancient Greece, noting in particular the nine-headed Hydra.
"I'm thinking of turning the Hydra into a group of nine teenage girls who share a collective mind," says Meyers, "in the story, one of them falls in love with a Centaur, which I think will just be a talking horse."
"It is important that this threat be taken seriously," says cryptozoologist Dr. Stephen Mathews, "She already demonstrated that she was very capable of killing myths without any hesitation or remorse when she turned vampires from dark, scary, Transylvanians in capes who live in creepy mansions and sleep in coffins because they cannot touch sunlight without bursting into flame, into tree-climbing teenage boys who sparkle in the light." Dr. Mathews also cites her cruel murder of the werewolf myth, when she turned werewolves from tormented, lonely people who become uncontrollable wolf/man hybrids under a full moon, into teenage shape-shifters who can turn into a normal wolf whenever they feel like it. "There is no doubt in my mind that she can and will carry out this threat if nothing is done to stop her" he warns.
Meyers has started to explore lesser known myths, such as the Golem from Jewish mythology, and the Astomi a mouthless race of people from Hindu mythology.
"I think that if I find some neat mythic creatures that nobody has ever heard of, people will just assume my version is real and not even bother to see what they are actually like"
She went on to put forth her plan for a ten part series of books centered the best characters in American mythology, saying "you'll never believe how much you'll end up hating Bigfoot"
"It has come to my attention that there are other monsters out there that seem pretty cool," said Meyers when asked about her plans, "hopefully I can fix that"
Meyers says that she has taken special interest in the legends of Ancient Greece, noting in particular the nine-headed Hydra.
"I'm thinking of turning the Hydra into a group of nine teenage girls who share a collective mind," says Meyers, "in the story, one of them falls in love with a Centaur, which I think will just be a talking horse."
"It is important that this threat be taken seriously," says cryptozoologist Dr. Stephen Mathews, "She already demonstrated that she was very capable of killing myths without any hesitation or remorse when she turned vampires from dark, scary, Transylvanians in capes who live in creepy mansions and sleep in coffins because they cannot touch sunlight without bursting into flame, into tree-climbing teenage boys who sparkle in the light." Dr. Mathews also cites her cruel murder of the werewolf myth, when she turned werewolves from tormented, lonely people who become uncontrollable wolf/man hybrids under a full moon, into teenage shape-shifters who can turn into a normal wolf whenever they feel like it. "There is no doubt in my mind that she can and will carry out this threat if nothing is done to stop her" he warns.
Meyers has started to explore lesser known myths, such as the Golem from Jewish mythology, and the Astomi a mouthless race of people from Hindu mythology.
"I think that if I find some neat mythic creatures that nobody has ever heard of, people will just assume my version is real and not even bother to see what they are actually like"
She went on to put forth her plan for a ten part series of books centered the best characters in American mythology, saying "you'll never believe how much you'll end up hating Bigfoot"
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