Things that go buzz and whirr, so I'm told.
Scientists Determine that Heart is Vital to Romance
In a recent study, researchers have found that the organ essential to love, in the face of centuries of belief to the contrary, is the heart. In the past, biological research had shown that the brain was actually the center for emotions and love, but biologists at the Center for Disease Control have determined that the actual r
Retail Workers on Cyber Monday Afraid of Crowds of Massive Computers
Hyannis, MA – Retail workers at several large chains across the country have expressed great anxiety due to the upcoming “Cyber Monday” in which large crowds of massive personal computers line up in the early hours of the morning to purchase a wide variety of goods at significantly reduced prices. Jeremy Reiner, a veteran of three consecutive Cyber Mondays, says that he is “very scared” of the large machines bounding to and fro throughout the store. Reiner, who has worked at K-mart for the last six years in a management position, had his right arm crushed the year before last in an accident involving a large, angry desktop monitor and an out-of-stock MP3 player. Although this holiday has consistently proved risky for the health of sales associates, it has been quite profitable for large retailers, with net profits from Cyber Monday reaching up to 145% their normal amount for many large retailers.