Local
Weather Wizard Arrested
6/16/14
As some of the more regular visitors here may have noticed there has not been a weather report recently. Until today the entire staff had no idea what had happened to our beloved wizard, but a call this morning put us at ease... kinda. Apparently Mr. Wizard had been picked up by the FBI attempting to scale the white house fence. According to a very reliable source apparently this is illegal and highly frowned upon, we don't get it either it is a public building after all. As of 2:00 am he was in custody by the FBI and taken in for questioning, but all they could get from him was some rambling about a stick or something like that. The important thing to remember here is that Mr. Wizard is safe and sound and CR News' jail escape corespondent is on the case of returning him safely to us.
As some of the more regular visitors here may have noticed there has not been a weather report recently. Until today the entire staff had no idea what had happened to our beloved wizard, but a call this morning put us at ease... kinda. Apparently Mr. Wizard had been picked up by the FBI attempting to scale the white house fence. According to a very reliable source apparently this is illegal and highly frowned upon, we don't get it either it is a public building after all. As of 2:00 am he was in custody by the FBI and taken in for questioning, but all they could get from him was some rambling about a stick or something like that. The important thing to remember here is that Mr. Wizard is safe and sound and CR News' jail escape corespondent is on the case of returning him safely to us.
Correspondent Ponders Methods for Looking Busy
5/6/14
Early this morning, local news correspondent and weather "reporter" for famed news agency CRNI found himself in the library trying to look busy. Faced with the threat of looking lazy and as if he had nothing to do, the young man struggled to grasp at something to open on his small, sad tablet. In a desperate effort, he called over a local authority to ask a question about something that doesn't actually really matter at this time, and managed to look like he was typing things after being left alone. Continuing to type, the correspondent began to ponder things of greater significance, like life and love and death and war, and whether or not he had had cereal for breakfast just a few short hours ago. He tried to make a joke which was lost on those around him. He was sad. He typed some more. Considered his own mortality.
Fin
Early this morning, local news correspondent and weather "reporter" for famed news agency CRNI found himself in the library trying to look busy. Faced with the threat of looking lazy and as if he had nothing to do, the young man struggled to grasp at something to open on his small, sad tablet. In a desperate effort, he called over a local authority to ask a question about something that doesn't actually really matter at this time, and managed to look like he was typing things after being left alone. Continuing to type, the correspondent began to ponder things of greater significance, like life and love and death and war, and whether or not he had had cereal for breakfast just a few short hours ago. He tried to make a joke which was lost on those around him. He was sad. He typed some more. Considered his own mortality.
Fin
History Teacher has Septic Troubles
11/15/13
Early this morning, a local history teacher discovered that his toilet was not flushing as well as usual. To a student of his he said, "this is breaking news," and also mentioned how important it was.
Early this morning, a local history teacher discovered that his toilet was not flushing as well as usual. To a student of his he said, "this is breaking news," and also mentioned how important it was.
BREAKING:
The ENLIGHTENMENT
After nearly a year, a local news agency has re-surfaced, with even more truth and even more conviction to last a bit longer than last time. The only step left is to wait for a nice news story to surface...
This map is local to us right now. Move it around to make it local to you!
|
Recent Articles
|
Share the Truth
|