Females Scramble in Vain
4/14/14
Recently, Brian of Cape Cod, MA has found himself overwhelmed by requests to go out to dances with local "females." While he has repeatedly claimed to have no"bin interest in anything but his school work and his Sunday trips to a strange cult-esque church which worships a method of transportation, his message inbox on social media sites has reportedly been making those annoying tintinnabulations for the past 4 months, and the number of requests for his hand in slavery/marriage is now numbering in the thousands.
"It's like a plague," said the victim, as he attempted to talk to exactly 357 females at once.
Meanwhile, local peers have been trying to spend more time with Brian, hoping that maybe they too will catch this "plague."
Now if you'll excuse me, after this kind of reporting I must sanitize myself.
Recently, Brian of Cape Cod, MA has found himself overwhelmed by requests to go out to dances with local "females." While he has repeatedly claimed to have no"bin interest in anything but his school work and his Sunday trips to a strange cult-esque church which worships a method of transportation, his message inbox on social media sites has reportedly been making those annoying tintinnabulations for the past 4 months, and the number of requests for his hand in slavery/marriage is now numbering in the thousands.
"It's like a plague," said the victim, as he attempted to talk to exactly 357 females at once.
Meanwhile, local peers have been trying to spend more time with Brian, hoping that maybe they too will catch this "plague."
Now if you'll excuse me, after this kind of reporting I must sanitize myself.
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